Tonight, as I was leaving the boyfriend's parents house (it is his sister's birthday!!) we parted saying that he would see my younger coil Sunday, when we would all be marching in the local pride parade with my roller derby league. This ended up leading to one of the most INTERESTING and illuminating discussions I have ever had with a 9 year old. Let me bullet out the finer points for you:
-He knows what LGBT stands for and he thinks that all are okay
-He is currently figuring out where he falls as far as liking boys, girls or both, but any of those options are okay
-He knows it is a real possibility that Mom could have a boyfriend or girlfriend (and apparently HAS known, even though this is really the first time we have discussed this so openly and directly)and this is cool with him (apparently super cool, like "why are we even mention this like it's a thing" cool)
-He is proud of who he is and who I am and in his world, same sex relationships are not taboo
As a parent, I could NOT be prouder. Of him, of myself, of the fact that I have so many amazing and accepting people in his life. Because in my mind this is the only way a child could be brought up to be, so..... open, and accepting of this. When we live in a world where we are still fighting for equal rights for love. When we live in a world where people (myself included) are still afraid to admit sexual orientation for fear of how they may be judged or viewed upon. The more SOCIETY can be this accepting and awesome, the more love and equality we can have in our world. I am thankful that I grew up in a house where my parents didn't push me to have a boyfriend (thinking about it, I don't think they EVER asked me things like if there were any boys I was interested in, they just let me be me) and deep down I know that they would be accepting of any boyfriend or girlfriend I were to have, as long as they were good to/for me.
In turn, I try to do similar for my boys. I make sure that they know once they start dating (which hopefully I have YEARS until....but seeing as the elder coil is almost 13, I doubt it), that regardless of if they bring home a girlfriend OR a boyfriend, as long as they are a good person, they are welcome in my home. And I am proud of BOTH of them, for being accepting and loving of themselves, and others. That they have the love and compassion that is so sorely needed in this world. I am lucky to have such amazingly awesome, geeky, open and loving children (even when they are driving me up the wall).
I have to add here that I am so very lucky to currently have a partner who shares this view, and is supportive and encouraging of the message I am trying to make sure my children get and hold onto. I know that he will be equally accepting of whatever choices my children make in this regard. And for that he is one of the most amazing people that I love as a part of my children's lives.
I know I am "tooting my horn" a bit, and some people may think "la de dah, way to go, you are doing the right thing. Good for you." but if you think about it, if we lived in a different world, a better world, this wouldn't be the "right thing", it wouldn't be a thing at all. It would just be. So until we live in that world, you betcha I am gonna toot! The more I toot and raise my voice for such equality, the closer we get to living in such a world. Hopefully, more people (of the very few that read this blog) will join with me in my delight that these are the children I have and that they will be part of what makes this world a better place.
"Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule"
-Buddah
